The past two days have been really hard on me. Monday and Tuesday were just emotionally draining and traumatic. Then there came Tuesday. I think I cried more times then I could count on two hands. The doctor’s visit went okay – as okay as can be expected. He said that he didn’t think that my MCL is torn enough to need surgery but that didn’t rule out any other issues. I have to wait for our insurance to clear my MRI – once they do I will be able to determine what, if anything, is torn.
Once I got back to my moms things kind of hit into a downward spiral. My mind was racing and going crazy. Things were just getting to be to much. I felt like I was trapped. Like I was stuck inside of my own body. I want to move again. I want to feel the floor beneath my feet and be comfortable. I want to be able to go to the bathroom by myself and drive my car.
But because I cant – I guess for that I need to give a big shout out to my wonderful husband and amazing mom. The two of them have been nothing but supportive and helpful. Thomas has been so great – even in the middle of the night when my feet are cold and I need someone to cover them up. My mom has kept things as positive as she can. She gives me space but follows up to make sure I am okay.
Today was my first day back to work. The doctor suggested to not work but I was dying at home. So, I begged to get some kind of clearance to be back at work. Today was a lot harder then I thought I would be. My butt went dead a billion times and toes tingled too. But at the end of the day I made it until about 2 o clock.
I wish my MRI clearance would hurry up.
Hang in there sweetie! Sometimes we have to take the opportunity to just sit still even when it drives us nuts because there are things we need to hear, from our bodies, our hearts or minds, that never get heard when we are running, busy and moving. Sometimes our bodies decide for us, forcing us to stop and hear what needs to be heard. Don't be afraid to sit still for a while, open the scriptures, have a prayer in your heart and ask for what you need to hear. And while you're listening, I hope you hear a great big I LOVE YOU from all of us!
ReplyDelete